I’m my own mystery

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

12:41 PM

Forgotten - Avril Lavigne

Ah ah, oh oh
Ah ah, oh oh
Ah ah, oh oh
Ah ah, oh oh
I'm giving up on everything
Because you messed me up
Don't know how much you screwed it up
You never listen that's just too bad
Because I'm moving on
I won't forget
You were the one that was wrong
I know I need to step up and be strong
Don't patronize me
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

(chorus)
Have you forgotten
Everything that I wanted?
Do you forget it now?
You never got it
Do you get it now?
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Ah ah oh oh
Ah ah oh oh

Gotta get away
There's no point in thinking about yesterday
It's too late now
It won't ever be the same
We're so different now
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

(chorus)

I know I wanna run away
I know I wanna run away
Run away
If only I could run away
If only I could run away
Run away
I told you what I wanted
I told you what I wanted
What I wanted
I was forgotten
I won't be forgotten
NEVER AGAIN!!!

(chorus x2)

& I cried.

10:01 PM

What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then
And just let 'em out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again
I pretend I'm ok, but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was trying to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you every where I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder
Gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret, but I know
If I could do it over
I would trade, give away, show the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

Uhh hey yeaaaaaaaaah!

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do

Ohh ohh!

baby,
save me from this loniness and despair..
ive been waiting for you since forever..
come to me soon....

& I cried.

8:29 PM

Puteri -2D

Kau datang tanpaku sedar
Didalam kegelapan
Beserta keyakinan

Dan ku hanya bisa menyanyi
Tentang kehidupan ini
Tanpaku mengerti...

Dan...
Langit menjadi biru
Dengan kehadiranmu,
Oh sayang

Adakah ini satu cabaran
Ataupun satu pertemuan

Kau puteriku
Kau menghias ruang istanaku
Kau sentuh dan kau kucup
Tanganku...
Beri keyakinan di dalam jiwaku
Sebagai petanda kau puteriku...

im still waiting...
dear prince...
where are you now???

& I cried.

11:38 PM

Heloo world!!!
hhhhahaha...
if there is a world who is reading my crappy blog...
ahahahha...

ok 1stly,<3
thank you OCT fareez of Hotel Wing for making my daes with your perfect malay/english replys..never fail to make me laugh or smile....
and replying "sorry lambat reply"(sorry late reply) a thousand times even though i noe u r very busy man and i told u to stop it but u are just too perfect to not do it...

2ndly,<3
thank you 3SG Jayson Chong of 1st Guards for always layaning me when im bored or sad..and always being there despite you "busy" workload...and thanks for making me smile and telling me wad to do when needed...

3rdly,
thank you to YOU for at last making the move to make me smile again...yes,you did make me angry coz u didnt react the way i tot u wud react...i didnt noe u wud actulli react in the OMG AVOID3!!!! haha...let bygones be bygone...5 letters was wad i been waiting for all this while....

to all you 3,
take care..
im not in the mood to talk to anione...
and ive changed number...

fareez-take care in hotel wing..
abg-do your job well sgt chong

ok ppl..
tyme to sleep...
nites world!

& I cried.

10:11 AM

Today is Chan Wei Hao's 19th Bdae!!
Happy Bdae COW!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahaha..
Happy Birdae to you!
Happy Birdae to you!
Happy Birdae to Duckie!
Happy Birdae to you!

veryyyyyy borrriinnnggg nw...

& I cried.

9:11 PM

wah..
sort siols...

i was onboard this ship jus now..
then when the ship safety officer when into engine room..
he walked around then ask my foreman is i was a..
BOI OR GIRL..
WASN'T IT OBBVIOUS???????
effed up siah..
den like dun belif im supposed to be there...
eff up!!!

at least ronald made me smile...
he told everyone i was the foreman..
hahaha..
n the foreman is SNR foreman...
hahaha
funny..

i feel like dying now...
soo im goin to sleep..
nites all!

and it very sad that,
whenever sumelse is hurt,
i get hurt along to help the person recover...
whenever i'm hurt,
i get nothing..
why suddenly i feel this way?

& I cried.

9:17 PM

will update with photos soon soo all u ppl(if there is any) will understand...

btw...

DONT GIVE UP!!
IT NOT WORTH IT!!!

24km will be nothing uh bro!
common!
=))

& I cried.

8:20 PM

how does this people cope with the pain of...

-losing someone
-feeling lost
-not getting wad u want
-loneliness..

i need someone to answer me...
i noe i wont get any answer coz i noe
no one cares for me enuf to read wad am i doin..
how am i..
or even msg me how r u...

i noe everyone is busy..
im just very free to tink bout everione else...
=(
im useless..
and
Im Giving Up...

cheers,
love from the given up world,
-AiN-

& I cried.

5:40 PM

im not a loner!
hahaha
everione else is busy..
fullstop.

very tired now..
fevering...
shits..
ok..

sleepy
bye

& I cried.

9:10 PM

"Perfect"

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

& I cried.

8:39 PM

Picture of the day
Hakim's ORD

my 1st dae onboard..
and guess wad???
got blackout siah!!!
and on sunday,
sumone missed me...
hahaha...

and now i noe that,
im actullie always an
ALTERNATIVE to some1s problm..
nver a
SOLUTION...

hahaha...
wad to do ryte?
ain will alwys be ain..

and btw,
im injured at the waist..
for all my ghost readers to noe and say..
alah kecian..
or
take care ain
or
wadeva

haha..
i noe im a loner..
but that doesnt stop me from trying to be happy.

Picture missed most
Zaheer

& I cried.

8:21 PM

he today got his mock platoon live firing...
and he carries the methador..
haha..
BSLC NOT SAME UH...
haha..
he has to chiong like his life depends on it...
hahaha...
tomoro is his live range..
he'll only reply my msg in 3 daes mayb?
hahaha..
it ok i underdstand...
i really stopped smoking...
like really...
i met fareez at AYG...
he is from 50th CLT Intake...
and he like to disturb me coz im in 54th but i'm a captain.
haha..
Fareez is all a lady can dream of...

He is a gentlemen.
i tink he is the only one left in the world.
haha.

then i worked with him again at Central SSC.
both of us were OCs.
but this time,
i disturbed him bcoz of his upcoming....
ENLISMENT!!!!
hahaha...

seriouly,
he super nice...
haha...

BMT,
Cougar Company...
he didnt go OCS from BMT though.
he went to BSLC..

BSLC,
he was in Charlie Company..
and his bslc intake is 54th!
from there,
he als dunno y he could cross over as he wasn't an award winner.
let the instructors think bout dat.

OCS,
fareez is in Hotel wing.
H is handsome,
H is Hardcore
H is Hero...
this is wad his wing commander is shaping them into...
and this is wad his wing comm told them...
"IF YOU EVER HURT YOUR PARENTS,I WILL EFFING KILL YOU!!"
hahaha..
and his fav word is KILL....
haha...
thanks fareez for making my week.
hope u can make my upcoming weekend the best again...

& I cried.

8:07 PM

friday is a good n bad day....
bcoz....

we AT LAST GOT A JOB after rotting for 4 daes....
then...
we were DENIED ENTRY as our names were not in the namelist....
then,
we slept at the bustop waiting for vehicle which supposed to come in 1 hr but came in 2 hours later...
then,
got back lunch...
then,
met up wid abg hakim n my cadre brothers go eat....
then go home talk to ajim n hyra...

saturday...
talk to ajim till saturday...
slept at 3 plus?
woke up at 1130..
still sleepi...
then nazim lost his wallet...
go make plice report making me late meeting fareez...
took cab with him to SAFTI MI.
then during Social nite 4get take pic no.1,
nazim found his wallet made me angry...
made fareez worry coz i not enuf sleep...
then told fareez everything thats bothering me..
he sent me home...

& I cried.

9:32 PM

ugh!!!
my face itching like mad!!!
tot the choc allergy thingy is gone...
is still here to stay!!

MY FACE IS LIKE ITCHING LIKE MADD!!!!

UGHH!!

ok off to scratch my face..
and..
ITP IS ON MONDAY!!

yeah!

& I cried.