I’m my own mystery

Friday, January 30, 2009

8:39 PM

i want to stay in lala land forver...
im very sad ryte now that im not asleep...
when im in lala land...

hes always wid me...
can anione tell me how to stay in lala land forever and never leave?
yest in lala land it was the best!!
we went out..
then we went for a picnic..
he didnt mind me being fat and all..
he saes i'm his princess forever and ever..
he told me how much he loved me..
and how hed never leave me...

i was practically sad when he saed its tyme to go to school...
i woke up bathe and went to school...
and now im back n i feel like sleeping to be back with him...

& I cried.

11:09 PM

i cant belif i actullie made sandwhiches from 2moro..
kewl rytes??
haha...
even i am impressed...
hmm...

i really hope he understands the hints i been giving...
but he ignored me totally yest...
i waited till i cant wait no more...
i slept..
then felt very sad suddenly during thermo...
n i texted ponyo.
she asked me to give him another chance..
ok..
lets wait and see tonyte...
hmm...
skali he reads my blog!!!
OMG...
but nemind.
i hope he noes...

Capricorns on 29 jan 09....

Communication they say is "the key", but right now what it can open is Pandora's Box, or at least that's what you are fearing. Opening up does entail risks, but claming up won't make any relationship troubles go away. A bit of a blow-out might actually do you some good.

is this a sign???

& I cried.

11:38 PM

heylos...

went to the zoo yest wid ibu n abg brad..
wid afiq n adli!!!!!

haha..
fun fun...
got to see my giraffe...
hehe

frustrated lah..
shudden haf let kak ifah see the blog...
now she's hooked on!!!
OMG!!!
haha..
but...
HAHAHAH!!!
KENE MARAH NGAN DORG!!!
kekeke...
padan muke..
adk da kater jgn tag..
nk tag jgak...
hahahaha
kn dorg da tny2...
hehe...
nnt abg in marah akak ckp org laen hensem aru tau..
kekeke..

lurps you akak!!!
study hard aite??
alek cpat..
keke...
wanna show you my new rank...
keke
...

back to story..

ponyo saes he like me??
now im soo frustated!!!
evryone is giving me hopes that i noe cant happen..
lets forget it...
='(
he wont go for sumone like me...
look at me..
wud you want to be standing bside me holding my hand?
no.
i noe...

emoing now..
gtg...
bby!

& I cried.

11:14 PM

ouh yar...

n i met MJ just now...
the girl verson..
hahahahaha

& I cried.

10:55 PM

today....

i was left with the TWO LITTLE SETANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahaha...

nana left for work n i asked them to sleep..
it was at 11...

i asked them to wake me up at 12..
then...
1300..
1400..
1530...

hahaha...
sae wud go out at 1530....
ended up go out at 1615...

stupid cabbies didn't want to pick us up...
then one uncle EVEN THOUGH HE WAS RUSHING HOME
picked us up...
reached west coast park at 1730....
then let the setans run wild..
then rain..
den go eat at mc...

den go nana work place...
then go home...
now at home lorh..
haha..
catching sunsets tomoro!!

& I cried.

12:39 AM

2dae afte sch when to city hall to me sabi to do some ake work..
ehem...
hahaha

then met saggy n far.
go bras basah coz saggy wanna buy sumtin...
then go vivo...
go banquet..
eat2...
the go bNj eat eat eat
take pic here
take pic there

when home...
and here i am

& I cried.

9:23 PM

This song is stuck in my head for quite somethime....

I hope he reads this and understand...
Haiz....
Enjoy...
By Republik.

Hanya Ingin Kau Tahu

Ku telah miliki
Rasa indahnya perihku
Rasa hancurnya harapku
Kau lepas cintaku

Rasakan abadi
Sekalipun kau mengerti
Sekalipun kau pahami
Ku pikir ku salah mengertimu

Aku hanya ingin kau tahu
Besarnya cintaku
Tingginya khayalku bersamamu

Tuk lalui waktu yang tersisa kini
Di setiap hariku
Di sisa akhir nafas hidupku

ow wooo wo wo wo

Walaupun semua hanya ada dalam mimpiku
Hanya ada dalam anganku
Melewati hidup

Rasakan abadi
Sekalipun kau mengerti
Sekalipun kau pahami
Ku pikir ku salah mengertimu

Aku hanya ingin kau tahu
Besarnya cintaku
Tingginya khayalku bersamamu

Tuk lalui waktu yang tersisa kini
Di setiap hariku
Di sisa akhir nafas hidupku

Aku hanya ingin kau tahu
Besarnya cintaku
Tingginya khayalku bersamamu

Tuk lalui waktu yang tersisa kini
Di setiap hariku
Di sisa akhir nafas hidupku

& I cried.

8:51 PM

it kinda stupid but i wrote it...
soo you now noe y its stupid...

IFS
if the day come that i hear you liking someone,
half of me will just die,
if the day comes and i see you together
i think i will just die

if you really care,
and if you want to share,
trust yourself under my care,
let your problems be my share

if you really want to see me,
up and running,
understand my poem,
then come running

if you cant find me,
i'm sorry is all i can say,
if you ever find me,
i love you is the only words to say

hahhaa..
stupid loser!!

& I cried.

1:34 AM

i just listened to a song that brings alot of memories...
tearing..
T-T

& I cried.

11:44 PM

i love to sing,
but i hate to dance
i may look ugly,
but i have a beautiful heart

i hate guys,
but i can't leave without one
i may be nasty,
but i still am nice

i will never love you,
but you'll always love me
i know you'll lose your way,
if you left mine to follow another

just came up wid this...
emo i guess

& I cried.

11:07 PM

cca open was a blast..
but the only sad things is,
alot of girls wanna join bcoz they saw me....
hahahaha

neminds...
i dunno if i like this guy coz i its the same feeling as last time...
but nemind..
must keep my mind clear lol...
=))

& I cried.

10:37 PM

while waiting for the moment...

farhana,aisyah,pezah n mat brought me out for lunch at Jurong point Pizza HUt..
i ate baked rice n also order warm choc cake with ice cream...
we eat2 then mat typed something on his fone then pass around..
only pass to food scienc tech kids..
i noe suomthing was up when aisyah when to talk to the manager...
then we eat2....
mat finish then aishah ask for the cake i ordered...
then the lights when out...
i tot wad siah..
then happy birthday song started and everyone focused on me..
soooo paiseys!!!
haha...
then i cut the cake feed the 4 cuckoos..
haha...

the waiter name hafiz...
=p
and i've finished vetting the camp proposal!!!
2moro will screw them...

happy moments of today...

& I cried.

12:31 AM

nvr knew that i can still haf feelings after along time...

im 18 and hurray!!
im legal..
hahaha

& I cried.

4:11 PM

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i'm turning 18 2moro!!!

but then its not like i'm gonna die or anithing..
hahah

& I cried.

10:14 PM

do you know that my answers was supposed to be yes whe you asked me the question just now?
i really wanted to sae that it was yes...
but as i saed,
you are hers..
n you will nvr be mine...
never...
no matter wad happens,
you will never be mine....

i cant bear to let any other girl to feel wad i felt years ago..
the pain is just to painful to bear..
i'll just forget you and think of you as a big brother.
you yourself saed you're stuck with her...
i'll always be a little sis to you....

& I cried.

12:31 AM

its hard to accept facts...
but you have to face it that you've lost..

even though you are on the losing side..
on dae you'll win...
and u can show that you wont be the only one losing...

where r u syg?
go home aite?
mummy finding you..
she's worried..
i noe you r out there somewhere reading this...
plz..
go home..
for me...
i promise i'll let go of him...

go home for us

& I cried.

11:59 PM

i sad ryte now...

i dunno y...
just becoz some1 didnt do wad i ask him i got sad...
n i just thought of sumtin i tot i threw away for good...
why must it be this way?
shud i go this way?
of is it just a feeling that shud be felt?

& I cried.

3:14 AM

its 2009 and i havent finish toking bout 2008...
hahax..

nvrmnd...
4get it...

since this year im gonna turn 18 (in 11 daes),
n i celebrated new year OUT OF CANBERRA with my dear friends n sister at esplanade park,
my resolutions are better....
resolutions

solve REVENGE
still hold on to 2008 anger management resolution
be nicer
be even nicer to derek and 2lt chang
try to be nice
lose weight
not find a boyfriend
get 3.0 GPA
heck care bout wad ppl think of me
lose weight - seriously
go silat
stop getting my left leg in trouble
get healthier
stop getting sick
make sure ais pass her maths

dats all folks!!!

-AiN-

& I cried.