I’m my own mystery

Thursday, October 29, 2009

12:05 AM

Soo who is at fault?
the one who committed it or the one who is innocent?
well,
it always the innocent one that get the scolding leaving the wrong in peace..
i dunno why must it be me who gets all the scolding....
lets tell my life story for today k?
for all those who care to read carry on...

born 120191..a week late..
2nd daughter and 4th child
clever but stubborn
sensitive to everything
allergic to cocoa
and always in fault or somehow part of the fault...
every decision made is wrong
never right to benefit anybody
always being heck cared
always get the blame
always being lonely
always too nice
always be the bad one
always the ungrateful
always the fat one
always the stupid one
always the useless one'
always the one not at home
always the bad one
always the one to put blame on
always the one in the blacklist
always the one in bad company
always the troublesome one
always the money problem
always the guilty one
always the dishonest one
always me

then,
just kill me
its better anyway..

friends nvr really stay
only looked for when needed
yeah
thats me lah

i dunno why is an egg thosai and a thosai is the same thing..
shudden both be called plain 'thosai"?
then wad the point of adding egg in front IF ALL IS THE SAME???
if its mine,
everything is the same..
just shut up and eat..
if its others,
GIVE IT TO THEM ITS THEIRS

if i work my ass of for something,
the thing is stolen..
if others do nothing for something,
they deserve the item..

if i spoilt it you fix it it yours,
if you spoilt it,i fix it its still yours..
if i lent you money,its i treat you..
if you lent me money,i have to pay you back...
if its my sweat,its yours..
if its your sweat,its yours...
if its mine n you like it,its yours;better give it to him/her
if its your n i like it,go get your own...
if im going to school,no money...
if you are goin out,here you go take 10...

haha...
being middle shiok ryte?
thanks for reading,,
just to sad to talk to anyone...

& I cried.

11:58 PM

passed my Prac 1.01 just now..
oklah..
happy...

how sad can someone who has no time left be?
NONE..
be happy till you leave...
6 mnths left....

& I cried.

2:13 AM

I see you all the time
Never see you smile
I try to picture what's going on in your mind
He leaves you every night by yourself
He took your love and put it on the shelf
He doesn't really care... how you feel...
You should be moving on girl what's the deal?
I wanna see you out that door... cause girl you know you're worth much more

So baby tell me why you stick around
Always lonely and you only wear a frown
He don't treat you good and you know
The only thing left is for you to go
You shouldn't live a life with someone
When deep inside you know he ain't the one
I don't know what to say no more
I wanna see you out that door

Yah azizi (yo precious) is mahini (listen to me)
I really don't wanna see u cry
Mujko samjho dil peh mat lo (understand me don't take it to heart)
Don't wanna see another tear in your eye
Baby break away
Let him go
I don't know what he's done to you
But I know that it's time to move on
Girl your love is blind

Girl I understand
That you're scared
And you feel that you might never love again
But baby that ain't true
No no no
I know that there some there for you
Someone that will see
That you are worth
An undiscovered treasure on this earth
Girl you know you're worth much more
I wanna see you out that door

Yah azizi (yo precious) is mahini (listen to me)
I really don't wanna see u cry
Mujko samjho dil peh mat lo (understand me don't take it to heart)
Don't wanna see another tear in your eye
Baby break away
Let him go
I don't know what he's done to you
But I know it's time to move on
Girl your love is blind

Yah azizi (yo precious) is mahini (listen to me)
I really don't wanna see u cry
Mujko samjho dil peh mat lo (understand me don't take it to heart)
Don't wanna see another tear in your eye
Baby break away
Let him go
I don't know he's done to you
But I know it's time to move on

& I cried.

2:13 AM

Sekarang kukatakan
Ku cinta dirimu
Ku sayang dirimu
Tetapi mengapa
Kau ragu padaku
Dengan alasan yang semu

Sadari hati ini
Hanya untukmu

Back to [!]

Maafkan aku
Bila kau menangis
Bila kau bersedih

Maafkan aku
Kaulah cintaku
Isi hatiku

& I cried.

12:21 AM

Forgiveness is necessary to cleanse your soul...
Its like your dirty clothes needing a wash...
after the wash it becomes clean...

One who forgives his enemy will earn knowledge and salvation...

my heart flutters everytime
but its just another dream
that i have to wake up from

& I cried.

5:34 PM

아인딘나 {A-IN-DIN-NA}- THIS IS BY KAK UDE

먀ㅜ야ㅜㅜㅁ{MYA-U-YA-UUM}- THIS IS TYPED BY ME(it has no meaning wad soo ever...hehehhehe)

FSH...hahaha
shit!
hahaha

& I cried.

11:33 PM

the only thing im truly happy about

yeah im happy..

i'm jobless
i'm clueless to life
i'm single
i'm a no life bitch
i'm not a girl
i'm fucking HAPPY

VERY HAPPY YOU HEAR?!

and you say i dun listen

& I cried.

12:53 AM

tonite
i look out..
i see little miss moon..
shining down on me..
she said what's wrong dear?
Everthing! i wailed...
i cried my heart content out to her...
she said...
dear,
you latch on too much...
they care about you...
you just don't see it cause you cant feel it...
let go of yourself..
feel the happiness around you..
you may not see them often...
you may not contact them often...
but remember..
they will still remember you..
now reach out your hand and join me...
they'll forget you..
but they'll still remember the bits and pieces when it comes....

& I cried.

12:04 AM

Today bapak becomes LEGAL!!!!!!
hahaha..
yeah i noe im bored...
HAPPY BDAE BAPAK!!!!!!

& I cried.

10:26 PM

This guys is finally getting nearer to his dream age..
hahaha..
HAPPY BDAE!!!!!!!1
-i noe u wont see this hahah

dang...
when will i have to tell them?

& I cried.

12:21 AM

haiz...
how broken hearted can one be?
how?

the only reason
you asked me
to learn
How to let go......
YOU KNEW YOU WHERE LEAVING

& I cried.

1:06 AM

My Darling Baby

what should i wear 2moro???
hmmm....
confirmed black...
but which black???
haha
all kurungs are black now..
sad uh?
either new,old or aben wedding...
other colours are either TOO BIG or SMALL....
haiz...
=(

this people are missed loads!!
haha

& I cried.

4:13 PM

Its this old man bdae!!
turned 21!
Muhd Ameendin B Rooslee

no mood to do anything..
go swimming?
cannot later the bruising can cause grave injury....
go out?
no one to go out with...
play dota?
very frust cant win at all..
even with extra heroes and insane vs easy...
exercise?
CANNOT till bruising heals....
sing?
OF COURSE!!!!!!!!
what the hell you doin now?
hahah

& I cried.

12:56 PM

Hari berganti hari musim berlalu pergi
Namun aku tetap disini
Ku fikir manusia punyai hati suci
Namun apa gunanya...

Jikalau penuh hasrat keji
Dan dikejarnya hanya duniawi...

Laugan demi laungan
Esakan dari keesakan
semunya dapatku dengar
Takdir yang menguasa hanya beredar...

Airmata sudah tiada namun luka makin berdarah
Dimakan rasa kasihan adakah hilang nafsu bara..
Jikalau penuh hasrat keji dan dikejarnya duniawi..

Laungan demi laungan
Esakan dari keesakan
semunya dapatku dengar
Takdir yang menguasa hanya beredar..

hmmmm....oh...hmmmmm..

Laungan demi laungan
Esakan dari keesakan
Semunya dapatku dengar
Takdir yang menguasa hanya beredar

& I cried.

12:15 PM

Ku pejamkan mata
Kau hadir di sisi
Ku hulurkan tangan
Kau sambut dengan kasih

Tenangkanlah hatimu
Agar bisa ku senyum
Pejamkanlah matamu
Jika rindukan wajahku

Ku pejamkan mata
Kau hadir di sisi
Bisik mesra darimu
Menyemai kasihku

Bahagiakan dirimu
Agar bisa kusenyum
Pejamkanlah matamu
Ku pasti di sisi

Untuk dikau kasih
Ku curahkan cinta suci

Yang tak mungkin terpadam
Akan terus membara
Bahagiakan dirimu
Di saatku tersenyum

Pejamkanlah matamu
Jika rindukan wajahku
Janji ku kepadamu
Aku pasti di sisi

& I cried.

11:41 PM

when out to causeway with muna...hehehhe
jalan jalaned
then pastamania-ed

& I cried.

6:05 PM

Watch This!!!

Dont call me bitch!
Bitch.Bitch.Bitch.Bitch.Bitch.Bitch.

& I cried.

11:52 PM

sorrie ppl...
will be telling u wad happened in this 3 days...

2nd Oct
had swimming lessons with my rescue divers...
=))
was TAUGHT how to dive down,tread water and stay underwater...
after dat played the slide which stopped my heart TWICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
then wrestle under the raining mushroom...
tagged team against me...
haha
scared one on one coz scared lose
(GOSH!!ain's bragging and someone's boiling...SORRY)
then...
watched guardian...
SAD...
well..
bullied rescue divers all the way!!!
wee!!!

haha...
ok...

3rd Oct
woke up early to go abg's family visit
haha..
funny uh?
1 minah and 2 mats visiting a beng brother?
haha..
even his encik was laughing...
got cute guys uh...
hehe...
esp his SGT!
hahha...
okk...
when back home to an empty home...
thought wanna rest then go heralds play..
but had headache and go rest..
rested from 1500 hrs till....
0830 of 4 oct!!!

4 Oct...
when to muna place...
rayees cukor rambot
missed it though...
aha
then helped around at the place..
wait for nana..
when home...
blogged...

well thats all uh..
yeah2..
haha.
nites ppl!

& I cried.

12:46 AM

boday is super itching now...
throat is itchy n painful...
hard to swallow...
not scratching...
now goin to ceep...
nitey2!!

part 1 is done...
goin to part 2 before i leave...

& I cried.